Tammy Talks Alot

Archive for the ‘Celebrations’ Category

And This is AFTER I Calmed Down

I am going to start this in bullets. So I can’t get it all down. Warning…vulgarity and attitude below.

1. In May of this year, Caleb a.k.a the loser asshole hit Ashley. For the 4th time by my count, although Ashley denies this number. Foolishly, in my opinion, she took him back and forgave him in less than 24 hours. Needless to say I was appalled and outraged. I still do not understand why she would stay with someone who… gets physical whenever the mood strikes him, belittles her, mistreats her child, cusses at her WAY to often, controls and manipulates her into doing what he wants, and puts her down daily. In short; he abuses her… verbally, emotionally and physically!! Of course she claims this isn’t the case. But she knows I am not stupid and I see these people for what they truly are. We both know what is really going on. For some reason though she doesn’t seem capable of walking away. I only hope this doesn’t cost her or Victoria’s life in the long run.
2. Since long before the incident in May I had tried to be nice and friendly to this family. For over 4 years I have tried over and over. But they have not bothered to try and instead have been in constant competition with me since day one. Hence my claim that they are all controlling, manipulative, and abusive. I sum it up as they are loser scum! They lie, cheat, steal and abuse anyone and anything that they can.
3. In January of 2010 I starting talking to Ashley about Victoria’s birthday (which wasn’t till September) I wanted to get a jump on the planning and figure out the details. Right on cue they started trying to fuck everything up. They bitched about everything. Of course none of them planned on doing anything for her or spending any money to set up a party. But since it was on my time, effort and money they tried to control the whole thing. Now I am not sure what kind of crack they smoke but here in the real world you CANNOT tell someone else how to spend their money. I am amazed that they are cocky enough to even think they have that right. If they want things to go a certain way… get off your lazy cheap bullshitting ass… AND SPEND YOUR OWN FUCKING MONEY to make it happen. But that would mean they’d actually have to give a shit.. and they’d actually have to follow through with the things they say… and they’d have to spare some money from the crack they smoke to pay for it all. And they won’t do any of the above. They just love to cause trouble.
4. Well after the May incident I told Ashley that those people were NOT welcome in my home. And of course that means if I have a party they are NOT welcome to come and if they do they will be removed… period! I chose not to fight with her over this fact and felt should the need arise where I had to force my point, I would handle it then.
5. In June Ashley called to say that asshole’s family didn’t want to come here for a party. I was completely ok with this because they were not welcome here. Ashley didn’t know what to do. So I suggested separate parties or even having it at the park. Which is neutral ground for everyone.
6. Fast forward to a week ago. Ashley messaged me to say they we not going to have a party at all. While I understood her reasons I was irritated. And I was disgusted by asshole and his family. So I said, let’s at least have you and the baby come over for dinner. Then I called a couple other close family members and we set things up. It was nothing fancy, just a small get together, but it would be enjoyed by all of us.

Then yesterday evening Ashley messaged me again. Seems now that I have made it clear that I wouldn’t be ignoring my granddaughter’s birthday (because I am not a selfish lowlife loser like asshole and his family.)… and therefore I am making them all look like the “selfish lowlife losers” that they really are… they now wanted to have a party too! And surprise surprise they wanted to have it on the same day as the day I had now set it up for. SERIOUSLY!?!! Excuse my french but… What Fucking Assholes! Anything to cause trouble. Anything to manipulate Ashley. Since they weren’t in control and it didn’t rotate around them… they had to start shit.

The bottom line ended up to be this. The asshole was demanding to either have a party on the day I had choose or I was to let him come to the dinner I was planning. Well fuck that. The wife-beater can go fuck himself. He isn’t welcome in my home. And other family members feel the same way. Why would we want such a toxic person around?! What good has he brought to our lives? To Ashley’s life? To Victoria’s life? The truth is Victoria would be better off if he was dead or didn’t exist. Harsh… yes… the truth… yes!

He whined about how he was the “dad” and therefore should be included. Funny…. he didn’t seem to care that he was her “dad” when he had to set up a party on his own with his own money…he was CHOOSING to blow off his kid’s birthday and do nothing to celebrate it. He had NO plans to buy her anything. not even a small cake. Yeah… real nice father. He’s not a father. He is a sperm donor and that is all!!! Any fuck-tard can have a kid… that doesn’t make them a father. It takes a REAL man to be a father.  And the asshole isn’t a real man… and I don’t think he ever will be.

He has done next to NOTHING to help care for or pay for his child since she was born. Did he help feed her? Clothe her? get her diapers? NO no and no. Maybe… a big maybe… he may have bought 3 or 4 packages of diapers since she was born and maybe a few packages of wipes. And he bitched about it to her each time. I heard him say that he shouldn’t have to spend his money on her diapers…. that Ashley could and should go get them. Once i even heard him tell Ashley that she owed him the money back for them too.  And he might have given Ashley a whooping total… of MAYBE… 200-400 bucks… since Tori was conceived. Wooo wooo!  We should all kiss his ass for a couple hundred bucks?! I don’t think so. Was he willing to watch her? Nope, he fought Ashley EVERY time she needed him to watch his own child. he called it babysitting. Umm, it’s not babysitting if it is your own child!! He was always busy hanging out with friends or some other stupid shit. He always had some excuse for why he couldn’t or didn’t want to. She had to fight with him or beg and even that only bought her a couple dozen times of him helping watch the baby. And Tori is 2 years old. That’s 24 months that she has been alive. 730 days that she’s needed someone to care for her. How many of those days was he really there and helping with his kid… what 50?? 75?? maybe as many as 150. (But I doubt it.) Yeah that’s pathetic!

And his parents haven’t bothered to give a shit either. They rarely watched her too… not even for fun. They didn’t really ask about her or for her. Unless it was to try and screw me out of time with her or they knew it would piss Ashley off. They couldn’t be bothered to even buy her a birthday gift for her 1st Birthday! I mean come on.. you don’t have 5 bucks to buy her a book, a small toy, a shirt… something?? And last year at Christmas they went out at 9pm on Christmas eve and bought her a $20 gift… ONLY because Ashley got into a fight with the asshole about it. They had NO intention of getting her anything. But they each got hundreds of dollars worth of gifts for each other. All Victoria is to them is something to brag about. They don’t actually give a shit about her. They only do minor tiny things for her and ONLY when it is going to make them look good or inconvenience Ashley or me. Otherwise she doesn’t exist to them and they put forth zero effort.

I am hoping that Ashley doesn’t continue to allow this bullshit. Even if she stays with the asshole (and hopefully she won’t) she can still grown a pair and not allow them to treat her or Tori like this. Because if she doesn’t she will wake up one day and realize that she allowed these people to treat her child (and herself) like garbage. And she will finally see them for what they are and see all of the damage they have caused in and to Victoria. And then… She will hate herself for it because she allowed it to happen.

Ugh! I can’t stand those people. They are toxic poison! I wish Ashley could see that.

OMG!!!!!!

Ashley just messaged me with bad news. The small family dinner I had planned for Tori’s birthday is a no go. The asshole is apparently throwing a baby fit because he didn’t have control and he wasn’t allowed to make the decisions… oh and of course because he wasn’t included.

I told Ashley that i might consider including him in things if… in 2-3 years he hasn’t hit her and he’s acting like a normal man who treats her with respect and helps with their child… then I will re-evaluate. But until then he is not welcome in our home.

I told her I am not angry at her. But that isn’t entirely true. She has a choice too and she could choose not to let them control, intimidate, or manipulate her. She could put her foot down. I don’t understand why she doesn’t. Ugh!

WaaaaHoooo!

It’s been ordered!! I am so happy that I could run through the streets naked….err…ummm… not that I am going to. I wouldn’t want to traumatize the neighborhood like that. :: snicker ::: but I am still very very happy. I am finally going to have an iPhone. An iPhone4 too. Woot Woot!!! I have to wait of course for it to ship… and it is on back order. But it’s no longer a fantasy. I will have my dream phone, lol.

The Races

Yesterday we had a great time at the NHRA Nationals. Most what we watched was qualifying. But it was a lot of fun anyways. Paul and Lynn joined us and the 4 of us had a blast!

Still Camping…

Happy Memorial Day!!! I hope everyone is having fun on this day and spending time with their families.We are still camping and I don’t plan on coming home till Thursday!

Making Good Memories

My mom and I went out for dinner tonight for Mother’s day. Just the two of us. We broke from tradition of having a family cooked meal at home and just went out. And let me tell you… it was wonderful. The food was so delicious. And spending time with my mom was priceless. We both had a GREAT time!!!

I love you mom!! Happy Mother’s Day!!

Happy Mother’s Day

I am spending the day relaxing with family. Later I will be getting a bite to eat with my mother.  Happy day to you all!

17 Wonderful Years

Today my husband and I have been married for 17 long and wonderful years. We’ve had our ups and our downs… but there have been far more good days then anything else.  I love him with all my heart… he completes me! I am looking forward to another 17 years and more together.

Happy 17th…

Today, Danielle turned 17 years old. I can’t believe how much time has gone by. I mean wow…17 already? I do still remember, very vividly, holding her in my arms, singing, “You are my Sunshine” and rocking her to sleep. In many way I am so proud of her and everything she has accomplished. And in several ways I am disappointed and scared. I always thought of Dani as my successful one. Things flowed more easily for her. She enjoyed school more. I thought she’d be the one to go to college and then get that big corporate job somewhere. That might still happen…but she’s in a stage right now where her education isn’t very important to her. And of course she won’t listen to me, since I am the dumbest person she’s ever met and I have no clue, whatsoever, as to what life for a teenage girl is like. So I have to sit here and hope that everything I said… all the lessons I’ve tried to teach her… will get through and stick. I’m almost out of time to make that impression on her. Now I just have to hold my breath and wait.

• She needs to know that life is give and take. But that most people she runs into will expect her to give first before they will.
• She needs to know that the mature responsible ones; yeah they usually have more work and people expect more of them and yeah it’s not really fair… but most of the time, in the end, the rewards are larger for them because people see how hard they worked and how much they have earned it.
• She needs to get used to the fact that life is NOT fair… but it is what you make it. If you stay positive and surround yourself with loved ones.. life will be rewarding and fulfilling. OR you can bitch, moan and whine about how unfair things are and you will be miserable and unfulfilled.
• She needs to remember that the only person in this world that can make her life good or bad… is HER. She has all of the power and all of the control to make life what she wants… but nothing is free or easy. Life takes work.

I want to see her grow up, be happy and be successful in whatever she wants out of life. I hope that I have done a good enough job, that I have given her the tools she needs to make that all happen. I hope each day that she will soon come out of that “teenage tunnel of emotional drama” and on the other side she will be a happy, well adjusted adult. I want the world to be a wonderful place for her. I want her to enjoy each day and to start it with a smile.

Happy 17th Birthday Danielle…. the world is your oyster!

Happy 20th!!

My oldest turns 20 today!! Can you believe it?? She’s 20 years old! I can’t believe it… I simply do not know where all the time went. She’s turned into such a smart, beautiful woman. She’s a wonderful mother to my beautiful 17 month old grandbaby, Victoria. I couldn’t be more proud of her and her accomplishments.

I love you Ashley!! Happy 20th!!