Tammy Talks Alot

Archive for the ‘The 9 to 5’ Category

Crisis Averted… Maybe?

Well the verdict is that Rick’s boss is just… well.. not in the best mood lately. (to put it nicely) He has apparently become alienated from his entire staff and none of them feel good about coming to work anymore. He makes them all walk on eggs shells constantly wondering if they are going to get the axe. And we are all going… Wahhh! While also shaking our heads in confusion, because this isn’t the man we know. Even I had been around Rick’s boss enough to get to know him. And this isn’t in his normal character. At least not from what I have seen through the years. I am wondering if we should do an intervention or maybe just check his house for seedpods. (It’s a reference to the movie, Body Snatchers. My mom and I use this to help explain why teens suddenly go crazy at age 13.)

At this point no one can feel secure of their job. That’s a common theme all over the country. And it’s hit home at Rick’s place of employment now too. For my husband’s sanity and health I really hope the stress level around there drops a bit.

Potentially Very Bad

Last April we had some tense moments with my husband’s job. While we were on vacation out of state, some crap went on at his work, and when we returned and he went to work no one seemed to be on the same page as to what was going on. Somehow in all the confusion my husband was accused of being involved with the crap that happened while we were gone.  Obviously that was impossible since… we were gone, lol. But nevertheless it was a scary time because good people were losing their jobs every day. The economy sucks right now. And my husband is the bread winner around here. He’s the man that brings in the moolah. The idea of losing the income that keeps the roof over our heads and the food in our bellies is a very scary thing.

Of course Rick was worried sick and was feeling that pressing guilt at the possibility of not providing for his family. The fear of not knowing what would happen next. How would we survive? As for me?  Well I am not sure how… but I kept it together. I was scared and worried but not devastated at the possibility. I took on the view that we would be ok. One way or another we would make it through this time and we would survive. I was very careful to stay positive and optimistic. I didn’t want to add to the fear and pressure that Rick was already feeling by freaking out. One of us had to maintain a level head. In the end he was cleared (as we knew he would be) and life went on as usual. The pressure and fear was lifted.

Fast forwarding to today…

Rick just called to tell me that apparently we might be back in that scary boat once again. I do not know the details or the politics but someone is sending off the vibe that they want my husband gone. Rick is an intelligent man and he is very good at reading people and situations. So if he feels this vibe enough that he felt the need to call me and give me a heads up… It’s potentially VERY bad.

Of course I am totally confused because my husband is an EXCELLENT employee. He goes above and beyond every day at his job. He’s a salary employee who works well over his 40 hrs a week. You could almost call him a workaholic. He’s on time, honest and hardworking. I can’t think of any reasons why he should have a target on his head. But regardless of what I think or believe .. there is a target and it’s looming over our family.

I am fighting emotion right now. I feel that lump in my throat, the tears in my eyes and the urge to just sit down and cry. I am worried and a bit scared. But I am not worried about what will happen to us. We have a backup plan, so we won’t be sleeping in the street. I am worried about Rick. I know if this happens it will hit him hard. Much harder than the rest of us. I refuse to let my emotion take a hold of me. I am determined to stay positive for him. He needs me to be strong right now. Again… one of us has to keep a level head and a positive outlook. Especially since nothing has happened yet.

I know that this is going to seem silly, petty and immature… but. Why? We are good people. We help others when we can. We’re honest and we stay out of trouble. And yet we don’t seem to be able to catch a break. It feels like each time we turn around something else is going wrong. We always seem to be running for the door, barely making it, before its closed and locked. I know I shouldn’t complain because we are not suffering. We have what we need and lots of what we don’t need. But sometimes I just want to scream… Can’t something good ever come easily for us?! And I’m not talking about the lottery.. although that would be awesome!  I just would love to have something be more secure and guaranteed. And yet, even as I beg and whine to the ceiling for it… I know that there are no guarantees in life.

We will be ok. I know that. I just wish we could be ok with a little less.. HARD.. in our lives.

Breathing Much Needed Relief

I’m feeling a bit of release on several fronts. The first one being my last paycheck hit the bank this morning and it was more than I hoped it was going to be. So that helps us out a lot!! I was very worried they’d skimp me out of all I had earned. I know that is such a juvenile thing to think, but it was there in my head swirling around. but thankfully the idea of NO money isn’t a threat really anymore. Yeah things will be tight…but we wont starve and our bills will be paid. That’s gonna be ok with me. And I am feeling the slow release of tension now that I am home again. I know my husband hates this because there is more money and therefore more fun stuff when I am working. But I have been so unstable for months. I won’t get graphic but it’s started to effect my body physically. The constant trips to the restroom… the sharp shooting pains in my abdomen and back.. I could happily live without them.. but it seems I am stuck with it all… for now at least.

Now my feet are slowly getting better… now that I do not spend 8+ hours a day standing on a hard cement floor anymore. But I’m probably still gonna have to see the foot doctor.

My doctor increased some of my meds and added a new one to my routine, so I am really hoping it works and does what I need it to do.

Didn’t Do It Right.

Ok so I know I didn’t do it right. I know I was supposed to deal with all the crap until I got a job to replace the one I had. I know I have added MORE stress into my immediate life than I removed. But I can’t change it and I stand by my decision.

So now I’m looking for a job again… and I hate job hunting. But I know things are going to be ok in the long run… and now I have the time I need to be there for my mom.

Job Hunting Again

I quit my job. It’s incredibly sad that 2 years of being a team player…loyal…dependable…always available…means nothing. I asked for one thing… a CUT in my hours so I could spend more time with my family and I was told no. After all I have done? My request wasn’t unreasonable. It’s crap!!!

So I am looking for another part-time job. I know they are out there…

Finally catching up

I just uploaded several posts I forgot to upload. I am feeling very out of sorts lately. I am scattered and hanging on my a thread. I’m gonna use bullets this morning, lol It’s the best I can do with the state of this brain of mine. Maybe more coffee will help.

• I don’t care for my job anymore. Which is sad that after two years I really can’t stand the place. I used to love it. I looked forward to going into work. Now I am constantly thinking of ways to get out of work.
• One a happy good note… My mom is moving in with us. She had planned to wait till next year, but she’s stepping up that plan and I couldn’t be happier about it. Yeah it’s going to be an adjustment for everyone. But it is for the best. Overall it will help all of us by combining households. And secondly my mom will be here so that I can help her. We are on borrowed time and I want to enjoy each day I have with her.
• Things have been quiet around here for a few days. Nikki has an appointment next week and then she will be back on her meds… hopefully. She should be back on them already but my last attempt didn’t go as planned. Damn kids. They all think they are so smart.
• My feet are killing me. It’s been bad for probably the last year and a half or so. But in the last 4 month it’s gotten so much worse. I might have to break down and go see a doctor. I have made several appointments to do so, but so far I have had to cancel them because of work.
• I’m tired… in more ways than one.

Stepping Down

Well I stepped down today. I am no longer management. I am back to being just another “pee-on.” And for the most part I am ok with that. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed just a bit. But the drama and chaos was just too much for me. Several times by several people I was treated less than kind with unacceptable disrespect. And ya know what… I deserve better! I could never plan anything. I could never enjoy a day off work because I was constantly being called in on my days off. My life became consumed with work and nothing else. And honestly… I wasn’t being paid enough to make work my most important priority. My family and friends deserve that spot… and they are now back in their rightful place as most important in my life.

It’s us little guys that keep the world spinning… it’s a shame that the big bosses who just collect the rewards don’t see that.

Last day!

Today is the last day I’ll be at this store for awhile and I got to tell ya, I couldn’t be happier about it! I mean I really like the manager here, and I like the store. But one of her employees is the biggest liar and backstabber and I have had enough of that person to last me a lifetime.

Today I hae other things to look forward to. When the kids get out of school we’re going to the campground!! Woot woot.

Keyed!!

That person I worked with that didn’t talk to me… well apparently they REALLY do not like me. They keyed my car!!!! Un-freaking-believable!

Now the paint job on my car isn’t the best.. it has a bunch of spots with chipped paint and small dents, scrapes.. But still!! You don’t just key someone’s car!!

I reported it immediately…And i got to wonder… what is next with this person?

Uncomfortable Silence

So yesterday the person that I was working with tried all day to “get under my skin.” They were constantly tossing cut downs and witty slap downs at me all day. It takes a lot to really get to me so I just played along and laughed.

Now today…. they won’t talk to me at all. With the exceptions of a few words, only when they had to, they didn’t speak to me all day. It was a very quiet day, but it was also uncomfortable too. I’ll never admit it to this person though.

I just do not understand why people just can’t get along.