Tammy Talks Alot

Archive for the ‘Bloggin’ about “The Blog”’ Category

Cleaning House – It was WAY overdue

No, Not my real house. My husband would be glad to hear that, right? LOL! Probably not. But I am rambling again aren’t I?

I just spent more time then I would like to admit cleaning up my blog and it’s posts. Lots of behind the scenes sort of stuff. Gosh it was disorganized and messy back there. I have had a blog of one sort or another for 6 years. And I have had this blog for 5 years. I am blown away when I say that out loud. I am glad that… the times I thought about closing this site down… that I didn’t. I really need this blog. Each year that passes I find I need it more and more. My safe place.

Making my blog more organized and cleaning up posts I never finished has actually been fun. I can’t believe how many posts I left hanging out in the draft folder to collect dust. It’s been a nice walk through the past thoughts in my mind. It’s funny the things I laugh about and get upset over. One of my best qualities is the ability to laugh at myself, lol.

I hope that in 5 more years I will have tons to laugh about and remember then too.

Away too long…

… my mind is spinning with things I want to say. Some of them nice… Some of them not so nice. But knowing me, most of them will be nice, lol. Give me time to catch up I promise I am going to in the morning. I have 2 posts from when I was camping that I have to upload and much more to say

Emotions Dug Up

Some people have a lot of nerve. I was recently contacted by a this woman, Ashley. She was asking me about some posts on my blog with mention her sister, Randi. She wanted me to remove the posts because… well… because they’re probably embarrassed by the past behavior. She was polite in her email but she did try to give a small shove by citing legalities. Except she forgot to make sure she knew what she was talking about first.

She said it was illegal for me to have her sisters name on my blog because she is a minor. Well she isn’t a minor anymore. But more importantly I only have her first name mentioned (which is completely legal) with 1 exception and the post in question, that lists her full name, is password-protected from general view. So that means I have done nothing illegal.

I understand her contacting me, but there is a part of me that was appalled! A crime was committed against us in several ways and I am shocked that anyone in that family thinks that they have a moral right to ask anything of us. It pulled up all sorts of anger that I didn’t realize I was still harboring. It’s been 3 years.

If my child had acted the way this Randi girl did… I’d have been embarrassed and disgusted and I would have contacted the other parent and apologized. I would have expected that parent to be angry and say some not nice things to me… and I would have kept my mouth shut and took it…because it would be my child who caused the problems.  I would have paid to have that child’s glasses repaired if it was my child who damaged/broke them. But these people did none of this. They caused us further pain and problems by lying even more. Hell, the PARENT called the police and made a bogus report in an attempt distract the police and states attorney from her own child’s guilt. It did not work and in the end… … Yes this girl did finally receive some punishment and spend some time in juvenile detention. But Dani and I still never had any specific closure. Neither of them made amends. Neither said they were sorry. And Karen (the mother) did not act like a parent, or at least not a good parent in my opinion. She should have sucked it up and accepted responsibility for her child’s behavior. And that means looking me in the eye and saying sorry and paying the damages on my daughter’s glasses. Instead she acted like a coward and despicable human being. She ran away, denied everything, and told more lies. I guess I can see where her child learned it from..

I think that the silence between our two families should be maintained. They did NOT do the right thing… and I am.. apparently… still sore about the whole thing. Silence is best for keeping the peace. And to her family… I understand what you were asking but I think it was outrageous that you would ask ANYTHING from me. If you are ashamed of the past… then GOOD. You should be. Let that me the lesson you take away from here.

New methods

My husband says, I should not give up writing or my blog. And then my best friend encouraged me to keep looking for ways that I can blog on the fly, even that meant keeping notes and uploading later. Well I went looking for more methods and I found wordpress for android. So now I can blog from my phone too!! Thanks Rick… thanks Lynn… for believing in me and pushing me.

Discovered My Problem

I know now why I have been writing less and less. I have no time to think anymore. I have very little time to myself. And it’s when I am alone to think that I go, “Hey I think I want to blog.”  Plus I need like…oh… Maybe another 5 or 6 hours added to each day. That would be sweet!!!! If each day was 30 hours long… then I could work my 8 hours… sleep 9…and still have 13 hours in each day to get everything done that I need and want to get done. With the weather getting nicer I am going to try harder to find more time in my days to write. I am happier when I write. I am able to get things off of my mind. So I guess my belated resolution to myself is to take more time for me… so I can unwind.  Lets hope this works.

A Reason; One of Many

Sitting here I think I’ve figuresd out a good part why my writing has become so erratic and inconsistant over this past year. It’s not because I have nothing to say. I think it’s just the opposite. I have to much to say. My life has been very busy, hectic and overwhelming. Especially with the kids. I feel like I just cannot catch a break. Each time I fix one problem or if it cannot be fixed.. it’s been acknowledged and dealt with. A dozon more issues pop up. My life these days is filled with family bullshit drama. And I’m reluctant to get on here and have it become…The Mother’s Bitchin’ Blog.

But that seems to be happening anyway. I have no time and when I try to make time for fun things or calming things.. Rick calls, or the kid’s call or work calls.. and I have to drop my agenda for one of theirs. And it feels to me like I’m surrounded with negativity or chaos most of the time. There’s ALWAYS a problem that *I* am supposed to deal with and fix. And none of these problems are mine. They belong to my husband and children or my boss.

I can feel it bubbling under the surface… I am gonna snap!

On Blogging

Ok my family, specifically my husband and daughter have both told me what I already knew… I’m a shity blogger. Of course I already knew this fact and have said many times that I need to work on being consistant and writing. Ya see, what happened was…..

LIFE!!!

What’s needed is both time and energy and usually I have but not the other. For instance reacently I had plenty of time but no energy since I got sick and then I started feeling better but I no longer had extra time, lol. so if life would lay off for awhile I could probably catch up. But I’m pretty sure that won’t happen so I’m not holding my breath.

Points To Hit (To be known in the future as Saturday’s Giberish )

• Topic searching. I have to start reading more… watching the news… and whatever else to spark my mind. I need more to blog about. I don’t want this place to turn into nothing but my whining over the icky things in my life, lol. I’m too positive and happy to allow myself to fall into that hole without a fight. I think I’m gonna have to start a bullet day routine so I can get back into the flow of writing more too.
• I need to work on how I’m handling the girls and their teenage shit. Nikki’s outburst’s, Dani’s attitude, Ashley’s pushy opinion’s. I’m not handling any of it well. I’m letting my emotions control me far too much. I raised them to be strong women. I wanted them to speak their minds. And I still want those things for them. But I think they all need a gentle reminder that I’m not their enemy and that I’m a person with opinions and feelings too. I want to be heard too. I get hurt too. And I need to remind myself that they don’t have to agree with me and I don’t have to agree with them. I am still a firm believer that they key to a more smooth relationship with anyone and peace of mind for yourself is that.. everyone remembers and accepts that it is ok to not agree.  I think my girls need that reminder as well. We’ve all been caught up in a small bit of trying to make the rest of us agree with our views. And sometimes the only road to peace lies in the acceptance that you do not agree. And it’s ok to be different and different views! I’d hate it if my kid’s were total carbon copies of me… with the all of the same ideas and thoughts. I want them to be individuals not my clones.
• Drew is developing some listening and temper issues. They’re mild at this point and I think completely fixable. I need to work on talking to him and not yelling. And I need to work on simple goals and expectations. He’s a good boy.. Going back to school will help put more routine back into his world. Summertime has a way of letting the kids get a little wild.
• I worry about Ashley and Renee. If one of them doesn’t get some self-control and patience this could have a bad ending.
• I LOVE MY NEW CAR!!!!!
• I have a list of things I’d like to get to this year before the snow falls. I wonder if I’ll get even half of them finished.
• Work is killing my feet. I feel nearly crippled at the end of the week these days. Each time I get up from the couch or a chair and my full weight comes down on my feet,  the bottoms of them, SCREAM out with pain and discomfort. Especially my left foot. It makes me feel 86 rather then 36. I guess that probably also means I should consider actively working on my weight. As in losing some of it, lol. :: sigh :: It might not be a bad idea to give this challenge another go-round.

Ok, Ok, The Message Was Recieved

Ok, so next time I’m not trusting the people at my hosting company. They issued an invoice at the end of July to be paid automatically by August 1st. Yeah so today is the 10th and the dum-dums suspended my account!! Seems they forgot to charge me. And of course this is still my fault! Buttheads!

Of course the secondary message, I think, is a warning to me that if you don’t use it, you”ll lose it, lol. I’m gonna try to get here more often to write. I have a ton to say, but again, I’m tired and am having trouble finding the time. And then lately I’ve been feeling a bit sensored again. Ugh! And it’s not because of anyone… I know that. It’s because of me and my screwed up head, lol.

I Noticed…

That I have an increasing amount of private (6 hidden) and password protected (3 in the last 15 days) entries these days. I’m not exactly sure why I suddenly feel such a driving urge to sensor myself. I’m going to have to try and examine that. I don’t want to fall into old habits of keeping my frustrations bottled up. And yet I don’t want to feel the need to hide all my entries either.. Ugh! Gotta find a balance again.

On the flip side… I’m happy that I seem to be back into blogging again on more of a regular basis… Yay!